This is the time of year when parents say things like,

“My kids get crazy around the holidays.”
“They’re acting out nonstop.”
“Every little thing is a meltdown.”

And it makes sense. When we’re stretched thin, those moments feel louder and sharper.

Behavior feels like the problem — but it’s usually a signal.
Kids act out when something inside needs support.

HERE’S WHAT WE NEED TO REMEMBER: Kids don’t act out for no reason.
When a child is overwhelmed, their behavior is the first thing to show it.

Kids don’t go from calm to “acting out” because they’re trying to be rude or dramatic.
Their nervous system gets overwhelmed, and behavior is the alarm bell we can actually see.

When we respond with yelling, “knock it off,” “stop crying,” or “you need to be good,” it usually escalates… not because we’re bad parents, but because we’re reacting to the behavior instead of what’s underneath it.

The shift, and the healing, happen when we do this instead:

1. Pause long enough to understand what’s really happening

Before reacting to the behavior, take one breath and remind yourself:
“This is a signal, not a personal attack.”

Your child isn’t choosing to explode, whine, argue, or fall apart. Their body is overwhelmed, and they’re losing access to the skills they normally use to cope.
A tiny pause on your end creates enough space to see the behavior for what it is - a call for support.

This moment of understanding isn’t passive. It’s powerful.

2. Respond with steadiness, not speed

When our kids lose their calm, they borrow ours.

It’s instinctive to want to stop the behavior quickly - especially in public, especially during busy weeks. But quick reactions (“cut it out,” “stop crying,” “that’s enough”) often add more overwhelm to an already overwhelmed child.

Steadiness looks like:

• lowering your voice instead of raising it
  
• moving closer instead of farther away
  
• keeping instructions simple
  
• softening your shoulders and face
  

You don’t need to be perfectly calm. You just need to be calmer than the moment.

3. Get curious about the need underneath the behavior

Behavior is the output. Curiosity helps you find the input.

Ask yourself:

• “What changed today?”
  
• “Is my child hungry? overstimulated? tired? unsure? excited beyond their capacity?”
  
• “Is this behavior telling me they need connection, predictability, a break, or reassurance?”
  

Curiosity shifts your role from enforcer to supporter - and children respond completely differently to those two energies.

When you understand the need, the behavior makes sense.
And when the behavior makes sense, it’s easier to guide your child back to regulation.

Why this matters:

Kids learn regulation through us.
Not through the perfect script or the perfect plan, but through repeated moments where we show them:

“You’re having a hard time, and I’m here to help you find calm again.”

This doesn’t mean letting everything go. It means seeing clearly so you can respond effectively. And holiday seasons, with their noise, excitement, and unpredictability, give us a lot of practice.

Rooting for you and your little one — The Ms. Paige Way