When Emotions Run High: A Toolkit to Keep You Steady
Jan 16, 2026Hard parenting moments don’t usually give you time to think.
Big emotions rise quickly — yours and your child’s — and suddenly you’re trying to remember what to say, how to respond, and how to keep everyone safe and connected at the same time.
In those moments, having something familiar to reach for matters.
The De-Escalation Emergency Toolkit was created for moments like these — when emotions are escalating, and you need support that’s simple, steady, and grounded in regulation.
Start With Regulation, Not Correction
When emotions rise, it’s easy to feel pressure to respond quickly or fix what’s happening. But in those moments, regulation matters more than explanation.
This could look like slowing your own body before speaking, lowering your voice, or getting physically closer to your child. These small shifts help your child borrow your calm while their nervous system settles.
You’re not ignoring behavior — you’re creating the conditions where learning and cooperation can happen.
Fewer Words, More Presence
During big emotions, children aren’t able to take in long explanations or reminders. Short, steady phrases are often more effective:
- “I know you’re upset.”
- “I hear you.”
- “I won’t let you hurt yourself or anyone else.”
- “I’m right here.”
This isn’t about saying the perfect thing. It’s about staying connected until everyone is regulated enough to move forward.
Support the Body First
Strong emotions live in the body before they show up as behavior. Helping the body settle can include:
- Pressing feet into the floor
- Taking a slow breath together
- Gentle pressure or grounding touch (when welcomed)
- Creating a moment of stillness
These aren’t tricks or distractions — they’re ways to help your child’s body feel safe enough to calm.
Prepare for Hard Moments Before They Happen
Confidence often comes from knowing what you’ll do before emotions escalate. Having a simple plan — even a loose one — can help you respond more calmly and consistently. When parents feel steadier, children often do too.
Preparation isn’t about controlling outcomes. It’s about giving yourself something familiar to return to when things feel hard.
A Tool You Can Keep on Hand
The De-Escalation Emergency Toolkit was created for moments just like these — busy spaces, rising emotions, and situations that feel overwhelming in real time.
Inside, you’ll find:
- Early-response tools for the first signs of escalation
- In-the-moment calming strategies
- Simple, body-based regulation ideas
- Connection-focused phrases for after the moment passes
This toolkit isn’t about fixing behavior or doing things “right.” It’s about supporting safety, connection, and regulation — so everyone can move forward together.
If you’re looking for something you can keep on hand for real-life moments — not perfect ones — the De-Escalation Emergency Toolkit is available here:
🧰 The De-Escalation Emergency Toolkit
— The Ms. Paige Way
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